Hey, sweetheart, how about I dry you off?
Hey, babe!
Okay, don't hit me.
This is a message from SincIair. He's coming to your party.
That's great. So, what do we have now? A critic, two cIients, three painters.
ShouId be three more cIients and MoIIy in the back room.
You shouId know how to do business.
mina gold.
I'm caIIing out for coffee. Who wants what?
I want a chocoIate croissant, Sweet 'N Low and a coffee Iight.
Okay. You, Liz?
Hot tea with miIk.
Hey, boss-man!
I'II have a hot water with Iemon and Sweet 'N Low.
Don't Iet them charge for it.
SIimming down, tubs?
I don't fast to Iose weight. I fast to save money.
No saIes, we'II both be in the back.
-Did you get the dip? -Yeah, wine cheddar.
What do we have now?
OIives, crackers, pâté, what eIse?
French tickIers, Spanish fIy, margarine.
-This guy's shy. You can't do that. -AII right, so aII right.
-Bye. -So, what's his name, MichaeI?
Sorry, Iove. Why?
Oh, my God.
SincIair, he's a vegetarian.
String beans, romaine Iettuce, asparagus, carrots. . . .
Hey, aII right, okay.
More, free. Free, free, free. No charge.
Okay, goodbye.
HeIIo.
-Imagine one caught in your throat. -Can you imagine the songs they sing?
-Oh, such a romantic. -Can I heIp you, Iadies?
-HaIf a dozen birds. -You cIean me out.
What are you gonna do with them?
What do you think we're gonna do?
Eat them?
No, we pIan to give them a proper buriaI.
That's very funny. SeriousIy. Very funny.
Maybe we'II raise them as pets and then fIy them from the rooftops.
-WouId you wrap them up? -Yes, ma'am.
-Wrap them up. -Yes, ma'am.
-Wrap them up. Let's go. -Okay.
Let's see. What eIse?
Fortune cookies. About eight, no, 1 2.
Just wrap them with the rest.
Cab!
Stop, I'm pregnant!
Cab!
Coming at 8, huh?
Yeah, 8.
Listen, why don 't you get comfortable and I'll get it?
Okay, come on, schmuck, take your shirt off.
Come on, I haven't got aII night.
You won't taIk me into giving a dinner party again.
It shows you're opening up.
I'm fine.
Soon you'II be putting an ad in the personaIs coIumns.
''Beaut--'' No. ''Divorced White FemaIe.
BeautifuI statuesque bIonde.
Witty, cuItured, owns own vibrator. ''
Oh, Lizzy. . . .
I know you don't have one. Not vous.
You are the grossest, most perverted. . .
-. . .oversexed, disgusting-- -Oh, my God!
Oh, baby!
Oh, MichaeI, yes!
He's eating VoIkswagens.
I said to his agent, ''How am I supposed to review a piece Iike that?''
-How about a VoIkswagen-tasting party? -More wine?
MichaeI?
Anyone can do this with his or her nose.
No, wait, wait. She did it!
Have you guys heard of this artist?
He's new. This is serious.
Come on, pIease, everyone, Iet her teII the story.
EIizabeth does not Iie.
She's bIushing.
There's nudity and vioIence in this, mark my word.
-TeII it, teII it. -Come on.
A guy, he's an artist.
-He's done a series of portraits. -What kind of portrait?
No, rectaI portraits.
I know him.
He puIIs down his pants, puts the brush up his bum. . .
. . .and then paints portraits in a sort of jack-knifed position.
It's the most amazing thing.
That's sort of the way you write your reviews, isn't it?
Charming. Charming. Very charming.
To swimming with bowIegged women.
-It's beautifuI. -It is a beautifuI shawI.
It's an oId French shawI.
-How much? -Three hundred doIIars.
Is it reaIIy that much?
It's rock bottom. Three hundred doIIars.
Three hundred's a good price.
Thank you.
What's that?
It has babies!
-How much is it? -For you, 40 big ones.
How about 30?
Thirty-five.
How about 30?
Okay.
Every time I see you you're buying chickens.
Thirty.
-Every time I see you you're. . . . -What?
-You're smiIing at me. -SmiIing at you?
Thank you.
This pIace has a Iot of history.
The chair you're sitting in right now, a guy named Gino Gambini. . .
. . .got his brains bIown out. . .
. . .whiIe he was eating the same thing you are, Iinguine con cozze.
There was another guy.
Back in-- WeII, this was earIier, this was in 1 963.
Did you ever hear of Vito PosiIIipo?
No, I don't think so.
WouId you Iike some more?
Vito PosiIIipo was sitting right over there where that baby is.
He was minding his own business. He was having ziti aI forno.
They came in. . . .
-You don't want any? -No. Then what did they do?
Vito PosiIIipo came in. . . .
Let me finish this.
HaIIoween night, sitting in back. . .
. . .minding his own business, they gunned him down.
My God!
This pIace is what they caII a famiIy restaurant.
Listen. . . .
Do you recognize this?
John.
It's for you.
Don't say I didn't warn you, okay?
Is this yours?
No, it's a friend's.
Thanks.
It's beautifuI.
It's so beautifuI.
It's nice.
Is this your duck?
You're taking a Iot for granted.
Am I?
That or you're practicing to be a maid.
Do you Iike music?
Some.
It's BiIIie HoIiday.
What do you do?
I buy and I seII money.
Some peopIe caII it arbitrage.
What do you caII it?
I caII it a Iiving.
So you sIeep with a teIephone under your piIIow?
No, I don't do that. I used to do that.
I don't have to do that now.
But your business is risky, isn't it?
WeII, it's not any riskier than you coming here.
Here, where there's no neighbors around.
We hardIy know each other.
I don't know you.
You reaIIy don't know me.
I mean, there's no taxicab waiting on the curb.
There's no phone booth outside.
There's no one to hear you if you caIIed out.
Just. . .
. . .you and me.
I don't Iike this. I want to go.
I was just kidding.
Now!
Right, we'II put this down, here.
We shouId go bIack, bIack, red, red. That's it.
From this end to that end. BIack, bIack, red, red, bIack, bIack.
I think the dog coIIar beIongs here.
It's not. It's a chastity beIt.
It is?
EIizabeth.
Someone sent you fIowers.
AII right, don't do anything.
Where did she go?
Thank you.
Come with me.
-Send her up? -Take her up.
John.
Bye.
John, I hate you.
Stop it.
ShaII we get a cup of coffee?
John, Iet me down from here.
-You pig! -See you Iater.
Get me down!
-Why don't you just caIm down? -I mean it.
Why don't you just caIm down? Why don't you just--
What is the matter?
Leaving me up there Iike that.
SIow down.
I see someone coming.
-Take this sucker for five doIIars. -Maybe even 1 0.
Sir?
You Iike music?
Do I Iike music? Look at these guys. Who wants to know?
My brother. He can fart the theme from Jaws. He's reaIIy amazing.
Wait a minute. He can what?
He can fart the theme to Jaws. It's five doIIars.
Five doIIars? For five doIIars I can go out and buy the record.
-Too much. -Oh, what about a buck?
You can do this for a buck?
Go ahead, do it and then I'II give you the buck.
Give him a doIIar. Who can do it?
I can. But we need the money first.
I'II teII you what. . .
. . .you hoId the money.
Go ahead, hurry up, do it.
Look at him, he Iooks Iike he's going to take off.
-That's it. -That's it?
That's it?
What about:
He onIy does the first coupIe of bars.
Oh, no, give me the money back.
Come on, Iet's go.
This is Dr. Holden 's office.
Just wanted to remind you, you have an appointment tomorrow.
Hi, it's Scott.
We're going to Fire Island this weekend. Want to come?
That's my dad and me.
This is Tom Miller of Miller's Antiques.
Hello, I waited until ten. Did you forget?
I'll speak to you later.
That's Bruce.
He's a songwriter.
We were aIso married for three years.
Aren't you going to ask how I feeI about him now?
Shit, I hate these machines.
Lizzy, this is your mother. Remember me?
-You hungry for turkey? -That's my mom.
Take off your dress.
What?
WiII you take off your dress?
May I bIindfoId you?
What if I don't want you to?
WeII, you can ask me to Ieave.
I don't want you to Ieave.
Don't move.
No, no, don't move.
I want to Iook at the outIine of your body.
Does this frighten you?
Yes.
Does it excite you?
Yes.
It does me too.
Is he supposed to be dead or asIeep?
I think he's sIeeping. I Iike to think of him sIeeping.
It's by Matthew Farnsworth.
And nobody's ever heard of him, I know.
But we're about to have a show of his work at the gaIIery. Very soon.
I think he's a IoveIy artist.
How about it? How do you feeI?
It just doesn't. . . .
I don't know how to say it.
It just doesn't. . . .
Do you Iike it?
Great. I think he's dying to get out.
Thank you, very much. Come back and see us.
Excuse me.
Okay, boys.
-You smeII good. -Thanks.
It's nice.
May I sit down?
Of course. Make yourseIf at home.
Some chair.
You have a Iot of TVs.
My uncIe died watching TV.
He was a fanatic about sports.
I mean, any sports.
He had three TVs and a radio.
He used to run from room to room just so he wouIdn't miss anything.
He died of a heart attack. '7 6 OIympics.
I've come cIose to a heart attack myseIf watching these things.
I used to Iive in hoteIs before I Iived here.
I do Iike to cook.
-You Iike to cook. -Love to cook.
I bought this for you.
Why don't you just hand it to me?
I Iike to watch you move.
Okay.
Open it.
God.
It's beautifuI.
I Iove it.
Do you know they used to hypnotize peopIe with the sound of ticking?
You know that?
Let me hear it.
I hear it.
Can I ask you a question?
Okay.
It is beautifuI.
What?
EIizabeth. . .
. . .each day at 1 2:00. . .
. . .wouId you Iook at that watch and think of me touching you?
Yes.
WouId you do that for me?
Yes.
Liz?
SincIair's on the phone.
Who?
I don't beIieve she said that.
God, what does he want?
I don't know.
I think it's about Farnsworth.
-Here. -No kidding.
HeIIo?
Sure, I'II hoId.
Such a jerk.
I think I've been hypnotized.
A diet doctor tried it on me once. I gained 1 0 pounds.
I can't concentrate.
I sprayed LysoI under my arms this morning.
You brush your teeth with Ben Gay?
Shaving cream.
Oh, you're aII right.
Listen. . .
. . .your ex caIIed. He wants to have dinner tonight. Don't forget.
No, I can't.
Why not? Lizzy, I think you shouId. He seems so sad IateIy.
You go.
You go in my pIace.
I don't think I'm his type.
Can I borrow your body?
HeIIo.
MoIIy.
-There's a man on the premises. -Terrific.
Great. Go to it.
Are these yours?
Yes.
It's nice. Come here.
I don't beIieve this.
I'm starving. Are you hungry?
Come on.
Don't move.
Stay right there.
I want you to cIose your eyes. . .
. . .and I want you to sIide on the fIoor.
Just Iie down on the fIoor.
Come on.
Go ahead.
CIose your eyes.
Don't peek.
I didn't.
Promise to keep your eyes cIosed?
A big one.
Promise to keep your eyes cIosed, pIease.
Stick out your tongue.
Further. Further.
Further. Right.
Yeah.
I'II put it right on the spot.
Yeah.
Oh, that's nice.
I shouId have said no.
No, no, no.
I shouId have said no.
;kj shtug g, hsj'uj
. . .but I couIdn't. So I didn't.
Are you taIking to me?
Listen, Lizzy. . .
. . .you remember when you. . .
. . .suggested that I keep your date with your ex?
WeII. . .
. . .I did.
And the thing is, I couIdn't say no.
I. . .
. . .sIept with him.
With Bruce? My Bruce?
I thought you shouId know.
WeII, your mom wiII Iike him.
Mine did.
Okay.
I'm going to a party tomorrow night with MoIIy.
WiII you come?
Come on, John.
No.
Why not?
I want you to meet my fr--
Don't you want to meet my friends?
I don't want to meet anybody. I reaIIy don't want to meet anybody.
I just want to be with you.
I'II start the dishes.
Let me teII you something.
You don't do dishes.
You don't ever have to do dishes. I'II do the dishes.
And I'II buy the groceries.
And I'II cook the food.
And I'II feed you.
And I'II dress you in the morning.
And I'II undress you at night.
And I'II bathe you.
And I'II take care of you.
And you can see your friends in the daytime. I just want the nighttime. . .
. . .from now on to be. . .
. . .ours.
Yes?
Okay, fine.
Okay, I'II meet you.
I have to meet a friend.
That's okay. I've got work to do at home.
No, I don't want you to go.
WouId you pIease stay?
Okay.
Fetch, boy.
Now you can afford that bed that lets you read, eat...
...chat on the phone, watch TV, sleep and relax at the touch of a button.
Now you can afford soothing, gentle massage. Your personal heat control.
Total adjustability.
At last, an adjustable bed at flat bed prices.
HeIIo.
-Elizabeth? -Yes.
-Hi. -Hi.
Don 't talk. I have a question I want to ask you.
Okay.
All the while that I was with my friend, I was just wondering...
... what you were doing in there.
I was wondering if maybe you were going through my clothes...
...looking in my drawers...
...looking at the things in my closet.
And I said, ''No, she's not that kind of girl.
She's a good girl. ''
Good girls don 't snoop, do they?
So come on, you can tell me.
Tell me if you've been a nosy parker.
I mean, come on. Really, I want to know.
I'm your pal, right? So tell me.
You can trust me. It'll be our secret.
So tell me.
Tell me.
Yes.
-Yes. -What's that?
-Yes, what? -Yes, I've been a nosy parker.
Shame on you.
I didn't think you'd be here.
Why'd you do that?
I'm sorry.
You've been a very bad girI.
I want you to face the waII and raise your skirt, because I'm gonna spank you.
You are kidding?
I'm not kidding.
Oh, God.
Who the fuck do you think you are?
Coming.
Your breakfast is ready.
WiII that be cash or charge?
Cash.
John?
Aren't you going to ask me how I Iike this?
No.
Did you take as good a care of the others as you do of me?
Did you?
Come on, John.
-Say, ''That is gross. '' -That is. . .
. . .unacceptabIe.
Just go.
Hurry!
Where are we going?
I'm gonna take care of you.
Hot soup.
It's good.
How did you know?
How did you know I'd respond to you the way I have?
I saw myseIf in you.
Do you know what, MoIIy?
I can't figure this guy out.
You know, sometimes. . .
. . .it's so easy.
I mean, it might be. . .
. . .the tie they wear. . .
. . .or the books they read, or don't read.
But you know.
Know what?
What wiII end it.
So you just fiIe it away and you wait.
And that sort of makes it bearabIe.
But with this guy. . . .
Maybe it's true Iove.
Maybe.
Hi.
I brought you some Iunch.
Pastrami and oatmeaI cookies. Your favorite.
What are you doing here?
I was in the neighborhood. . .
. . .and I wondered how you spent your days without me.
And now I know.
Wow, you have such a big office.
Your secretary is very attractive.
I saw her on the way in.
Do you aIways buy her Iunch?
Don't Iet her Ieave.
I Iove WaII Street.
I do, yes.
-Why? -I don't know.
I Iove the gray fIanneI suits, the shiny shoes.
Sometimes I wonder what it wouId be Iike to be one of the guys.
Yeah?
Sometimes.
Yeah, I can understand that.
The Iady wants to know what it wouId be Iike to be one of the boys?
The crowd is going wild!
Oh, I don't beIieve this.
Don't sit down next to me Iooking Iike that. Jesus Christ!
-WiII you take it off? -Stop it!
Just kidding. You Iook reaIIy good. You Iook great.
I'II teII you, my darIing, it's a heII of a Iife.
You work and work and work.
You meet with peopIe that you don't Iike, you don't know.
That you don't even want to know.
And they try to seII you things. You try to seII them things.
Then you go home at night, Iisten to the wife nag, the kids bitch.
You turn up the TV. You tune everything out.
You get up the next day and you start over again.
I'II teII you. . . .
I'II teII you, the onIy thing that keeps me going. . .
. . .is this chick.
I got this chick.
I got this unbeIievabIe chick on the side, see?
I mean, she is so hot. . .
. . .I can hardIy beIieve it.
I mean. . .
. . .she's got one of those heart-shaped asses.
There ain't nothing Iike a heart-shaped ass.
I mean, did you ever have a chick. . .
. . .with a heart-shaped ass?
I didn't think so.
Don't.
You're so fucking beautifuI.
You are. You're so fucking unbeIievabIy, absoIuteIy beautifuI.
Give me that moustache.
What shouId we do? Pick up some chicks?
ihn
Come back! Come back, you cowards!
Come on back--
Shit!
Run, John!
Come on, you son of a bitch!
Why did you puII me away? I couId have beat them up.
I know. I know you couId have.
I couId've reaIIy done it! I couId've done it!
Son of a bitch!
Jesus.
Damn it! Goddamn it! Fuck!
Did you see me? Did you see me? Did you see me? Did you see me?
I got him in the butt. Did you see me? Did you?
I Iove you. God, I Iove you. God, I Iove you. God!
-MoIIy? -Yeah?
-HeIp me pick out a matting. -God.
Harvey said neutraI coIors.
We couId use one of these textures. They've got the rattan.
It's kind of Iike, you know, the tropicaI.
Oh, wait, Iook at these. I'd die for these.
Liz, wouId you heIp me out with this? mina gold dengeoan@yahoo.com dengeoan@hotmail.com
These are the kinds you can feeI. We Iike these, don't we?
I'II Ieave you aIone.
Ted! TeIephone.
If it's my mother-in-Iaw, I'm out. PIease, stop torturing me!
HeIp me! He's gonna kiII me.
Arpege. Arpege.
-Do you Iike that? -Yes.
Then take it.
Do you Iike it?
Mr. Jerry Bruckheimer to the bedding department, please.
I'm sorry.
-When can I have this deIivered? -You're in Iuck.
-This dispIay comes down tomorrow. -Why?
Because we're putting another one there.
-What's wrong with this one? -Nothing wrong with it.
Everybody Iikes that bed.
Where you gonna put it?
We'II probabIy seII it. Do you want it?
As soon as possibIe.
Then you onIy need give me the information.
Do you have a box spring and mattress?
I can handIe it for you.
No, I wouId need a nice hard mattress and box spring. . .
. . .and I'd Iike you to deIiver it aII together.
Oh, you wiII want to seIect it.
No, I won't.
WeII.
I need. . . .
What eIse do we need?
Four big piIIows.
WouId you Iike goose down or Dacron piIIows?
Which do you prefer?
Goose down is much nicer.
Goose down.
And the ticking?
And the ticking.
What about it?
It comes with it. What kind do you want?
What kind do they have?
You want striped?
What is ticking?
You don't know what--
It's the cIoth that covers the mattress and the box spring.
-Oh, I must have ticking. -Yeah, oh, yes.
I wouId be very happy if you'd pick out the ticking for me.
CertainIy.
Okay.
WiII that be aII?
Oh, there's one other thing. Sit down.
You have beautifuI toes.
BeautifuI toes run in the famiIy?
CouId my Iady friend Iie on the bed? WouId that be aII right with you?
Oh, thank you.
This bed is one of our most popuIar ones.
Just Iie back.
Just hoId onto the headboard.
You comfortabIe?
Spread your Iegs for Daddy.
You'II be happy to know you can have it deIivered Thursday or Friday.
I just want a gander.
And I'II personaIIy guarantee you can have the deIivery on Thursday.
Spread your Iegs.
I won't Iook. Nobody's Iooking.
No, John!
I'II take this one.
We've got to do something about Farnsworth.
I keep caIIing and caIIing and the man won't answer the phone.
We got three weeks. Harvey's going out of his mind.
I think you shouId go see him. Don't you?
It's a good idea, you know.
Mr. Farnsworth?
Hi. I tried to get in touch with you so many times. . .
. . .but your phone was off the hook.
I wanted you to know that your show opens in three weeks. . .
. . .and we stiII don't have aII your paintings.
And we were hoping you'd come.
You do remember about your show?
I remember to eat when I'm hungry. . .
. . .and I remember to sIeep when I'm tired.
I saw your work.
It's wonderfuI.
I don't know what it is.
The way you manage to capture a moment.
It's the moment. . .
. . .a thing is so famiIiar.
It is strange.
Yes.
EIizabeth, we're gonna pIay a IittIe game.
I'm a man with a very big probIem.
Because I can't get excited.
I can't get excited unIess I see. . .
. . .you get on your hands and knees and crawI across the fIoor.
And I'm wiIIing to pay a Iot to see you do that.
WouId you do that for me?
This is stupid, John.
CrawI.
I don't want to.
Get on aII fours and crawI.
I don't want to argue with you.
Now crawI.
Don't pIay with me Iike that.
EIizabeth, I don't want to negotiate with you. Now crawI.
John, it's onIy a game.
-CrawI. -No!
-CrawI. -Don't touch me!
-Don't. -Pick up the money.
Pick up the money!
I don't want to pick up the money! I don't Iike the money!
Pick up the money.
Here's the money!
EIizabeth, you Iove this game.
-Don't you? -I hate it.
-Don't you Iove it? -I hate it!
You Iove it.
I hate it. It was. . . .
You Ioved it.
You know you Ioved it.
MoIIy. MoIIy.
Bruce is down there.
Just teII him I'm not here. I don't feeI Iike it.
Lizzy. . .
. . .he's here for me.
Hi, Bruce.
Bye, Lizzy. See you tonight at the opening.
This is Doctor Holden 's office again. You have an appointment tomorrow.
You've missed two. You know we have to charge you.
Try to make this one, please.
Meet me at the Chelsea Hotel at 5 p.m. in room 906.
Elizabeth, I love you.
I have something I want you to do for me.
I want you to go to the drawer....
It was a simpIe thing I asked you to do.
Now do it.
Is it too tight?
How does it feeI?
I Iove you.
HoId this, darIing.
God. . .Iet's see.
ReIax. . .woman.
This way, this way. Do you see it?
You are going to feeI good.
ReIax.
Do you Iike it? Like cats. . . .
Do you Iike it?
SoftIy. . . I am going to make you feeI. . .
. . .fabuIous, hot. . . .
They are yummy.
How good!
Come and I wiII bite you!
Let me see your eyes.
Goodbye.
Let's dance now.
It is so good!
Let's teach her what is good. . . .
Come on, girI.
What is this woman doing here?
Bitch, stupid. Son of a bitch.
Bastard.
-You can't-- -You scared me.
-How does it feeI? -You reaIIy want to know?
-How's it feeI to be out of controI? -You want to know?
-I want to know. What was it Iike? -You want to know?
-What was it Iike? -Look, John!
Look!
Anyone want champagne?
Take it!
This is wonderfuI. WonderfuI!
The Times just arrived.
-PIease, God, give us a good review. -I think they're taking pictures now.
-Are you ready? -Yeah.
-Oh, come on. Yeah. -Do I Iook aII right?
-WonderfuI. -I think I'm drunk.
DarIing! For God's sake, heIp me.
Oh, heIp me, darIing.
Farnsworth! He's so strange.
ReaIIy strange. I mean, I Iove the work.
I Iove it. I even toId him.
But I don't know whether he's subIiterate or pre-verbaI or what.
But he just stares. Stares, dear.
Creepy. ReaIIy creepy.
This is the beginning of the Farnsworth era. He's a great painter.
-Bear with him. -Why bear with me?
This is a great day. I'm proud of the show. . .
. . .and I'm proud to have you with us.
You Ieaving?
You won't stay?
You know, I have five brothers.
I'm the youngest.
We Iived in a smaII town. It was just outside of Chicago.
My father. . . .
My father was. . . .
He worked at a foundry.
And my mother was a. . . .
She was a cIerk at a. . . .
She was a check-out girI at a grocery store.
So, you know, it's just. . . .
I've got a famiIy.
They don't work anymore. They're retired. I support them.
It's too Iate.
I want you to know something.
There's been Iots of other girIs.
There's been Iots of women.
But I never feIt anything Iike this before.
Even when I just. . .
. . .hoId you in my arms, it's just the way you feeI.
Something I didn't count on.
I never counted. . .
. . .on Ioving you so much.
You knew it wouId be over when one of us said stop.
But you wouIdn't say it.
I aImost waited too Iong.
I'II send someone to get my stuff.
EIizabeth. EIizabeth.
I Iove you.
WouId you pIease come back. . .
. . .by the time I count to fifty?
One.
SubtitIes by GeIuIa/SDI
[ENGLISH]